


I Just Want You For My Own

by achieve_hams



Series: 2017 Holiday Gifts [3]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Fake AH Crew, Fluff, M/M, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, very minor angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-18 02:36:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13090611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achieve_hams/pseuds/achieve_hams
Summary: Michael's an asshole so Jeremy and Ryan enact revenge and have some fun while doing it.





	I Just Want You For My Own

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holiday's @oswiniarty!!
> 
> Prompt: jeremwood being cute during a christmas heist

It was Michael’s turn to direct a heist, so Ryan was ready for the shit-eating grin that was sent his way when Michael laid out the plan

The heist was going to be to steal money from some local department store owners. They had been screwing over their employees and planned to use them all as scapegoats if their laundering went awry. The Fakes caught wind of their misconduct and decided “why not?”

Michael’s plan was to have Ryan and Jeremy go undercover and worm their way into their fellow employees lives so they know who exactly how much the owners were fucking them over. Then they would then use their store access to go in late at night when a shipment of money and illegal product was coming in and scare the owners shitless. Then give everything back to the employees and get the owners fired.

Ryan wasn’t happy about working in a department store and dealing with assholes without having to ability to punch them. To add salt to the wound, Ryan and Jeremy weren’t going to be a part of the heist beyond being workers unless something went totally wrong. So Ryan met with Jeremy for their usual dinner date and since neither of them were happy about being sidelined, the formulated a plan of their own.

-

It was December 22 and all the employees decided to wear ugly sweaters the few days leading up to Christmas. Ryan was decked out in a bright red sweater that had garland and bells all over it. Gavin had bought it for him as a joke gift but it actually annoyed Gavin when Ryan wore it because of how hideous it was. So Ryan wears it every year.

Jeremy was in a deep green sweater with cats on that were wearing Santa hats. Ryan had got it for him last year and Jeremy absolutely loved it.

They had gotten close with quite a few co-workers as they had been working there for over a month at this point. Jeremy had made friends with two other cashiers named Trevor and Alfredo who were surprisingly good with management and technology, respectively. Ryan had made friends with Mica, a girl who worked at the churro shop at the front of the store and Kdin, who worked with Ryan while restocking at night. She usually ran the bakery and was fantastic at getting people to buy more things than they planned too. She rarely had to throw away baked goods between her skills and Ryan sneaking things to Jeremy between rush hours.

Jeremy had switched with Kdin for restocking for the night to let her go home to her fiancée and because of it being the night of the heist. The store closed at ten pm and it was twelve currently. The janitors had recently left, and Jeremy had already snuck in to loop the security feed with the recording from two nights ago – where Jeremy and Ryan had worn the same sweaters – like Alfredo had taught him too. Alfredo hadn’t known what Jeremy was going to do but it was easy to get him rambling about technology.

“Got it!” Ryan whisper yelled. Jeremy turned to see Ryan turning the corner with the rolling stairs they used to get the products off high shelves. Jeremy laughed as he skidded to a stop and almost lost grip of the stairs.

“Yikes,” Ryan said, “That could have been bad,”

“You’re gonna get us caught,” Jeremy tried to chastise but he was smiling too.

“Nah,” Ryan said as he positioned the stairs in the right spot. “Alright, up we go.”

Ryan gestured his hand to the stairs and bowed. Jeremy snorted and started to climb them until he got to the landing in the top, Ryan right behind him.

“M’lady,” Jeremy said as he pushed two stacks of paper towels functioning as a door to the right.

“Why thank you,” Ryan said as he ducked inside. There was a loud clang and then Ryan said, “Shit,”

Jeremy held in his laugh as he quickly stepped in behind Ryan and pushed the paper towels back in place, effectively closing them off from the rest of the store. Jeremy turned around to see Ryan ducking slightly and rubbing a part of his forehead; Jeremy didn’t even have to duck to fit in the space. He let out a laugh as Ryan glared.

“Curse you and your shortness,” he mumbled and then plopped down on a beanbag. He reached out and grabbed a package of mini doughnuts. 

“it comes in handy sometimes,” Jeremy shrugged. He grabbed the comms radio and then plopped down too.

“Didn’t we bring a coffee maker up here?” Ryan said, looking around. “I’m already exhausted. Working these crazy hours so close to Christmas has been hell.

“Yeah,” Jeremy said in both agreement and confirmation, as he fiddled with the radio to get it on the right frequency. “Mind getting the tablet while you’re up? We should keep an eye on our security cameras outback.”

Over the course of the week, Jeremy and Ryan had been slowly sneaking products into a space behind the paper towel packages in the second to top shelf. They were completely enclosed, even adding curtains between them and the surrounding paper towels and toilet paper to make it darker. Some of the stuff Ryan took from the bakery the last few days, under the guise of giving it to Jeremy, had found its ways up there. Jeremy managed to get a tv up the stairs during a power outage a few nights ago when the cameras were off. He even was able to run an extension cord up through the center of the shelves so it was functioning. Ryan snuck and DVD player, Jeremy grabbed some shitty Christmas movies, and they both lugged two bean bags up last night when they were testing to see if they could fuck with the cameras like they were tonight.

It all turned out to be the coziest hideout ever, and the perfect remedy to Michael’s shittiness.

“Coffee’s a-brewing,” Ryan said as he sat back down, playing the tablet between them so they could both see the cameras that Ryan had also set up last night so they could keep an eye on the rest of the fakes. “Now we wait until the deal is done, then stay here until six am, then finally quit this shit hole,” he said.

“Yeah,” Jeremy agreed, though he sounded a bit sad. He put down the radio, they both could faintly hear the rest of the Fakes talking about nothing important. They were both silent for a moment as they munched.

“You feel like we’re abandoning them,” Ryan guessed.

“Yeah,” he agreed again. “What’s gonna happen to them after this is all over?”

“Welll,” Ryan dragged out, “I have a bit of an idea,”

“We’re not hiring them,” Jeremy said firmly.

“Why not?” Ryan turning his head to look Jeremy in the eyes. “Nobody in Santos is completely clean. We can better protect them if they’re with us.”

“We’re also putting them more at risk!” Jeremy argued.

“Have you ever noticed that Kdin never mentions her fiancée’s job? That Alfredo knows more about setting up technology than a kid working a department store should? That Mica’s girlfriend is named Barb and her best friend is Risinger? What’s the coincidence that that’s Griffon’s Barb and our Risinger?”

Jeremy clenched his jaw and turned away. He knew Ryan was right, he just wanted to keep them safe.

“What about Trevor?” Jeremy asked, noticing Ryan left him out.

“I don’t know about him, but he’s got a look in his eyes that says ‘I’ve seen some shit.’”

“We’ll talk to Geoff. Then only if they agree, if not, we leave them out,” Jeremy conceded after a minute. 

“Sounds good to me,” Ryan said then wrapped an arm around Jeremy. Jeremy smiled and leaned back into Ryan’s chest. He moved the tablet so it sat on Jeremy’s legs so they could both see.

Everything heist related went off without a hitch. The rest of the Fakes were able to scare the owners into agreeing to quit and promote some of the workers the next day. Then the fakes took their product and chased them away.

“Hey,” Michael’s voice came through the radio, “We’re heading to the bar downtown to celebrate.”

“Alright,” Jeremy picked up the radio and responded. Ryan ditched the tablet next him and reached out for the TV controller.

“Good we don’t have our wallets,” came Geoff’s voice.

 “We’ll bring ours,” Jeremy said, smirking at Ryan who was shaking his head. “We might be a little while so go ahead and order some stuff.”

“Alright, we’ll see ya,” Jack responded.

“Poor little assholes,” Ryan said as he put his arm around Jeremey again. Jeremy sighed and turned off the radio, snuggling in for the next few hours.

“What movie?” He asked.

“Some romance,” Ryan shrugged, then smiled down at Jeremy.

“Oh,” Jeremy said sitting up a bit to grab his phone. “Almost forgot,” he pulled up snapchat and flipped to a holiday filter as he took a picture of him and Ryan cuddling; Ryan had also taken out his wallet and wall holding it in the air. The background was indistinguishable, and he sent it to Michael with the caption “payback bitch.”

They both laughed their asses off when Jack sent one back that was just a black screen with the caption “these idiots order everything on the menu bc you were paying, why must you do this to me?”

After calming down, a few giggles escaping them when both their phone started buzzing off the handle, they settled in for the movie. Jeremy rested his head on Ryan’s chest and Ryan softly nuzzled into Jeremy’s hair.

They both looked over when they heard a _ding_.

“Coffee’s ready,” Ryan whispered.

Jeremy hummed and held on to Ryan’s arm tighter. Decisions could wait, the coffee could wait, they had the rest of the night after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I watched employee of the month before I wrote this so that's where the hideout idea came from. Thanks for reading!!
> 
> tumblr: achieve-hams


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